Imagine

Imagine there's is no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

John Lennon

Scatterbrain

Sunset through my tree
Golden Downtown LA - View from my house

Santa Monica Beach - View from my house

Today I am a complete and utter scatterbrain. I cannot for the life of me stay focused or complete any one task I set out to do. Days like these make me crazy, as my to-do-list gets longer and each action seems more like a counter-action. Having my daughter home from school does not help either. The moment I start something it hear, “mom, I can’t find my big whale, can you find it for me right now”. Or, as I sit at my desk to respond to emails, or search through my pictures in the attempt that I may get them organized, Sadie will come inside looking like a chocolate Lab, instead of a Vanilla Lab, as she has dug a hole in the mud and rolled around in it. This is my life today. I am so frustrated at trying to get anything done, that I almost feel it would be more productive to lie in bed and watch a movie. At least I “may” be able to finish it, or at least I can pause it and come back to it later.

Since I started typing my silly blog, Sadie has knocked over a vase, stolen a flower and delicately placed all the petals all around the house and then began chewing on my favorite piece of furniture. Tomorrow won’t come soon enough, when Mad will be back in school and Sadie will be calmer (as Madison usually gets her all excited and she becomes quite mischievous) and hopefully I will be able to get something done.

I am reminded of a day when I was 8 or 9 years old and my mother told me to go play with my friends outside so she could clean the house. In the late 70’s kids could do that you know. Just go to the neighbors’ house, knock on the door and ask if Travis and Bret could come out and ride their bikes or walk to the shops to buy some lollies (aka candy), or walk down to the river and throw rocks. On this particular day, I remember Travis, Bret (the local brats, nicked named trouble and brat) and me wondered around looking for something to do and discovered that one of the houses on the street had just dumped a mountain of soil to landscape their front yard. It began to rain and I suggested we go for a slip and slide in the mud pile. OH my, what fun that day was. We laughed and played for hours on that mudslide, climbing to the top, sliding down on our bellies or bums, throwing mud at each other until we were literally covered from head to toe in mud. Once we finally started to feel the cold, we all went home. I stood at my front door, rang the doorbell and when my mother opened the door, her face lost all its color. Instead of seeing her blonde blue-eyed little girl, before her stood a wild native, the only white remaining were my eyes. My mother refused to let me inside the house, until she hosed me off on the front lawn – that was miserable, because up until that point, I hadn’t felt the cold. I guess, as with life, you only feel the cold when there are no more games to play.

Oh, to be a dog or a child, when your world is carefree, play is actually your work, and your mom will clean it all up when you are done.

So the tides have turned and today I am the grown up cleaning up the mess and getting nothing done.....

Grand Scope

A wonderful friend of mine recently had her art opening at the Robert Berman Gallery. I am in awe of her pure talent and incredible braveness. She is 23-24 years old (sorry Vanessa if I got your age wrong) artist pursing her dreams and desires. Vanessa is also self taught, which blows my mind away…See all her work here: http://www.vprager.com/.

Today, I am the proud owner of this beautiful piece, Grand Scope. It was a difficult decision, as my first choice was Magic Mare, I fell in love the moment I saw it, but someone bought it before I could sweep it up. My Second choice, Skinny Lover, I really love the mood and darkness of this piece, it reminds me of those moments of loss and love all intertwined. This rings true for me, as I do not believe you can have love, without loss. However, in the end I decided on Grand Scope. For me, this painting will remind me to look into the future and witness every detail in 3D. Maybe it resembles my own life and the hope that my future will be bright, exciting and full of three dimensions.

I guess this is how I choose art or make art for that matter. I do not make choices based upon if I think it will be worth more money later, or whether it is something I “think” I should own, but if it moves me, or hold significance to me and only me. I have always wanted to be a big supporter of the arts and artists, so in some respect, I am living that dream. My collection is growing and each day when I walk thru my home, every piece I have purchased still makes me smile and giggle with admiration for theses delicate artistic souls.

My own art has been a whirlwind, as I am exploring my own style, while thinking about what I want to communicate to the world through my art. Maybe it will remain a hobby, a place I go to release my energy, or maybe I will actually make something out of it.

So far, I am proud to say, I have sold four of my own paintings, all thru word of mouth. This astounds me, as I have only painted 6 pieces since I began painting again. It also looks like one of my paintings is being purchased for an album cover…holly cow….If it does, or doesn’t isn’t really the point…The point is, I love to paint, even when I am completely frustrated and have absolutely no direction in sight and I waste buckets of paint on one canvas. However, somehow, eventually, I make something reveal itself and I am proud and feel that it is complete….Maybe that is the same with life. We must propel ourselves to throw buckets of paint at it, until something sticks…and then, maybe we can smile and be proud.

Quiet

It’s quiet tonight, there is a full moon high in the dark sky, frogs are croaking over yonder, while the gentle sound of the trees are swaying in the wind, the clouds are glowing and dancing to some far off destination. It is quiet as I sit in my birds nest far above the busy city below, and I am warm and safe.

My black nosed, black eyes snuggle bug is curiously observing my pen move back and forth over my page, her head moving from left to right, in the meanwhile, my sleeping beauty lays in my cloud, sweet and still. Her brilliant mind and mouth are finally resting, at least until morning. Oh, it is quiet tonight.

As I journey from there to here, from then to now, near and far, I can’t help but wonder…how did I get here? Is this my beautiful house? Is this my beautiful life? It all seems beautiful on the outside, but on the inside, my life is less than perfect and I am miles from contentment – yet on this eve, things sure are quiet tonight and it feels all right…

Tomorrow, when the sun rises and the birds begin their morning song, the cars will buzz and hum, the lines will form for the morning rush of coffee, hungry mouths will want to be feed, destinies will be created and the noise of the world begin again. And, my journey will continue to move forward, yet again and I will enjoy all the noise life has to offer……… ahh, the noise is comforting, yet the quiet is, for the moment, satisfing.

What a Difference a day can make

A wave of peace came over me today, a sense of relief. The way it feels when your body floats atop the ocean. When you can hear the sound of your loud breath, the muffled drift of the waves, and feel the peaceful sun’s rays shining on your face.

I haven’t felt this kind peace for many moons and I am rather enjoying it, for a change. I can’t say why it happened, but I hope that it will stick around for awhile and the two of us can become more acquainted.

Yesterday, I woke up early to feed Sadie, who wakes me at the crack of dawn, telling me how much she needs to go potty and then on to tell me how absolutely starving she is and then she looks at me with her big dark eyes and says she can’t wait for a decent hour, oh no she says….get up now, this is urgent! As, I walked into my kitchen wiping the morning dew from my eyes, I looked out my windows to witness the most sensational sunrise I have seen in years. The kind you see on flyers for God. The clouds are gathered, white and puffy, the purest white, yellow and pink sunbeams streaming through the middle, ejecting there magnificent beams in all directions, as if God himself was standing there, in the middle with his arms open saying “aaaaahhhhhhhh”, in a high-pitched singing tone. Despite witnessing this gorgeous sunrise, and the sheer stillness of that moment, it didn’t improve my terrible, terrible mood. Yesterday I felt as though I may explode like a rocket launching from its pad, or uncoil and strike an unyielding prey like a threatened viper. Oh, it was a terrible day.

However, this morning, when I woke, the clouds were grey, raindrops sprinkle my yard and tranquility awaited me. I woke up feeling peaceful, grateful and serene. It’s not as if God came to me yesterday and spoke profound words into my ear. I honestly couldn’t say why today was better, not just better, but honest and pure. I haven’t felt this for a long, long time. So long, I had forgotten how amazing it is. This feeling fits me like the perfect pair of jeans, the kind of jeans that your bum looks great in and there isn’t any muffin-top and when you sit down you don’t have to unbutton them to breath, “aaaaaahhhhhhh”…..in a high-pitched singing voice….
Maybe it was the sunrise, maybe it was Sadie’s big black eyes, maybe it was the sound of Madison’s sweet, sweet snores, maybe it's because Obama is President, or maybe it was really God coming to whisper in my ear……..but what a difference a day can make……..for that, I am grateful…..