Cowlick

Cowlick: noun: Projecting lock of hair. Oxford dictionary

This morning, as with most mornings – I wake up, brew a pot of coffee, make breakfast for Madison, get in the shower, wash my hair and most days, I blow dry my hair, some days I can’t be bothered and end up looking like a beached hippie, or a lead singer from an 80’s heavy metal band. But, this morning I busted out my hairdryer and as I was blow drying my hair, I thought about my cowlick. Some of us only have one, some of us more, and some of us have none. Mine is on the right side of my fringe, or bangs as they are called here – weird…..how does that word define the short front part of your hair? Anyway…….my cowlick, that imperfection in my hair, that kink that looks like a cow licked you. It’s always there – no matter hard my big round brush and blow dryer dance together, it never goes away, it’s just always there.

I think I write about the same old crap in my Blog, over-and-over again, just in different ways, trying to somehow explain myself, sort it out, like I am stuck in the middle of a big puzzle and one piece is missing. Just one ruddy missing piece, that piece that’s going to make everything whole, complete the entire picture, the whole kit and caboodle. You know that feeling when you can’t find something and all day it eats away at you, because you need it…you need to know….know where it is. Once you find it, it stops eating you, but sometimes you never know where it is and it’s a big mystery sandwich, but eventually, you let it go. You accept that you can’t find it and stop looking. One of my many talents is my ability to find things. Madison calls me “The Finder of All Things”. It’s true, 99.9% of the time, I can. I could find a needle in a haystack, or the toy that went missing a year ago and all of a sudden there is an immediate emergency to play with it……..the one that went to toy heaven for a while; or the nail clippers that didn’t arrive back in the draw, that have been secretly living under the rug for months – I will find it. It’s a gift! An unusual one, but nonetheless, a gift.

Anyway, my cowlick….while I was trying to sort it out this morning, trying to negotiate with it, trying to make it disappear; I had an epiphany. I realized; I need to stop trying to get rid of it and let it go – stop trying so hard to fix it. I think my big round brush and hairdryer both agreed with me. So, today my cowlick and I embraced each other. As I looked in the mirror one last time, I smiled and let it go. I have let go trying to find that missing piece to my puzzle. It’s just not meant to be found – not today anyway…..